I approach sharing this self-reflection and general observation with caution as I am aware just how frequently and regularly such reflections can be misinterpreted as pessimism and negativity. I could not disagree more. One of my favorite quotes, from Elbert Hubbard, is “To avoid criticism: Do nothing, say nothing, be nothing”. I firmly believe general optimism is not simple, blind bliss, but rather an honest evaluation of and approach to how things are, where they can improve, and how they can be. This reflection and observation, reflobservation, we’ll call it, is focused on an aspect of the centrality of human potential. It focuses on the vast potential that complete individuality provides us with.
One’s approach to life is undoubtedly unique and is the framework for their general outlook on life itself. Our approach almost entirely determines out outlook and, consequently, our reactions. Everyone faces trials and times of struggle. Although very different in nature, everyone deals with unique and personal tribulations. “Everyone has battle scars”. Some are the result of unfortunate circumstances, some are self-induced, and many are unfortunately the result of other people’s actions.
This reflobservation is centered on the regularity with which we bring trials upon ourselves, and maybe more unfortunately, upon others as a consequence of our lack of optimizing individuality FREELY. I firmly believe that we induce such pain on ourselves, and on others, due to significantly self-induced paradigm paralysis. That is to say, we get so caught up and overwhelmed by “what and how things are supposed to happen”, “what we are supposed to do”, and “how we are supposed to act”. Unfortunately, that can hide “what can happen”, “what we can do”, and “how we can act”. Paradigm paralysis occurs when we allow filters of perceived parameters [a paradigm] to hinder our development or individuality.
The vast majority of those paradigms are determined well before actual relevant events. They are rarely determined independent of exterior pressures and, again, independent of the professed limitations society wrongly applies. All too often we are who we are told we are, and rarely are we told accurately. The second we limit ourselves, or allow others to do so, we forfeit the right we innately have to realize our full potential, and consequently, positively affect others with it.
Growing up, we are told what is supposed to happen. We are told who we are supposed to be and the necessity of never deviating from that. I do not want to discredit any of that in the slightest. The direction I received from a young age has been paramount in my development. However, we are told how the smaller things in life are supposed to go. We are told how a relationship is supposed to unfold. Coupled with a lack of communication, I think that is the most debilitating aspect of a relationship. We have in our minds how a relationship will start, play out, and where it will lead. We have pre-determined in our minds who that person will be. What they will be like and what they like to do. When we choose to apply those restrictions to every situation, I wonder, how often do we choose to forgo greatness? My guess is far more than we should.
The same idea applies to what we do how we act. We are fed information about both on a continual basis. All of these labels and limitations prohibit us from expanding our horizons. It hinders our abilities to grow, develop, and begin to see the endless potential we ALL truly have.
The most overlooked part of all three is our tendency to develop our own paradigms and inhibit our own progression. If something is not how and what we think it should be or was going to be, we have a habitual tendency to completely write it off. We sometimes are our future self’s worst enemy.
I am fond of Marianne Williamson’s take: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
BE YOURSELF! But don’t keep yourself from becoming a new and improved version of yourself. That growth is vital to our development. Step outside your box and try something new, or a new approach. It may be what leads you to finding that greatness, and realizing that potential. J
LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH.
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