Invictus

INVICTUS

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
-William Ernest Henley

I had the opportunity to go and see the movie, "Invictus", tonight and cannot speak highly enough of it. It was very thought provoking and a necessary reminder of the man that Nelson Mandela was. The poem above is a poem sent from Mandela to the captain of the country's rugby team in the movie. The poem is the anchor the movie uses to provoke thought if one so chooses. I would recommend this movie to anyone and encourage everyone who sees it to take advantage of the opportunity to dig a little deeper and find the inspiration the movie brings to you.

LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH.

It has been far too long since I have written here but for good reason . . . Christmas season is now in full swing!! =D Christmas at our house is definitely an ongoing party. With all of the decorations, music, movies, apple cider, and hot chocolate, it is so much fun! The holiday is a time to enjoy family, friends, and neighbors. It is a time to be grateful for all that we have. I am so truly blessed and that is even more evident now at this time of year. I am so thankful for my family and the joy they bring me.

Lately I have also thought a lot about those serving overseas in our armed forces that will not have the opportunity to return home to their families. I wish there were words to describe how grateful I am to those serving our country. They portray and exemplify such courage, bravery, and commitment; characteristics that I aspire to attain. Any of you serving our country or who have family members serving our country, thank you!! I love you and appreciate your sacrifice.

(Click on the picture to read the poem. I love it!)

It makes me sad and somewhat ashamed to see the lack of support for our troops. These young men and women lay their lives on the line on a daily basis for each and every one of us, yet many are not grateful for that sacrifice. Please support our troops!! None of us can understand what they go through and they are going through it for us. If you have a couple of minutes, go to www.letssaythanks.com. It is an opportunity to express thanks to our armed forces. It is free and is well worth the couple of minutes.

I love it when everyone around me smiles and I do all that I can to make that possible. At this time of year it seems that everyone is smiling regardless! I love it! Everyone everywhere is smiling and sharing those smiles with those around them. It is so great to see selfless acts of service EVERYWHERE as well. One of the main reasons I love this Holiday Season is that it seems to bring out the best in everyone, consequently spreading so much joy to all those we come into contact with! I love seeing all of that service! And it is so much fun to participate!

Happy Holidays!

LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH.

“The most destitute man in the world is the one without a smile”

Destiny

"Anyone can achieve their fullest potential.
Who we are might be predetermined but the path we take is always of our own choosing.
We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others set the frontiers
of our destiny.
Your destiny can't be changed but can be challenged.
Every man is born as many men but dies as a single one."
-Martin Heidegger

LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH.

Take a second to stop and realize what you have! Personally there aren’t words that can describe how blessed I am. I have a beautiful, loving family, the most amazing friends that can not be described by anything less than angelic, opportunities, and good health [considering =D]. Taking a time out to realize how fortunate I am is a lovely opportunity and one I have taken advantage of as often as I can lately! The increased sense of gratitude works wonders when it may seem that we have fallen on a hard time. The world we live in is such a beautiful place. There are so many opportunities out there and such joy to be had!! Too often we as a society get caught up in the negativity that unavoidably accompanies such beauty and marvel. Instead, get caught up in what you have, what you are blessed with. Then seek to share those blessings with others! “Pay it Forward” so to speak. Be quick to forget what you have done for your friends and quick to remember what your friends have done for you. Each and every one of us has such power in bringing joy to the lives of those around us constantly. Never stop smiling!! Reach out to those who have reached out to you. Be fast to compliment those around you and don’t be afraid to receive compliments in return! The search for happiness begins from within and the key to the realization of such happiness is held by each and every person. Exercise that power! Take advantage of that opportunity!!

Every time I cross either the Golden Gate or Richmond Bridge, I pay the toll for the car behind me. I do this for a couple of reasons. First, it is so much fun to watch the reaction. Some drivers speed up to get even with me and wave a thank you, some do not even acknowledge the act, some I never see, and most recently some cannot figure it out and stay at the toll trying to pay the guy. Haha. However, the second, and more influential reason as to why I do this is the hope I have that it will start a chain of events and the car behind me will pay for the car behind them and so forth. I was so excited today to read of a story at a Florida Starbucks Drive Thru. A costumer, Arthur Rosenfels, paid for the order of the car behind him. Throughout the day, the chain continued and each car paid for the car behind them. The cashier said it was the most cheerful day at the store. When asked why he paid for the car behind him, Mr. Rosenfels said it was because the guy was honking at him to hurry up. Haha. I think that is so awesome and hope one day I can start a chain like that!! Maybe next time I’m in the city . . . =D Everyone should try to pay it forward!!!

We live in a beautiful world, time, and place! Be grateful for it! SMILE!

“With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be HAPPY!”

LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH.

Once again I have failed to keep my blog updated regularly. Haha. I just desperately wish there was something to be continually updating about at this point. Haha. Recovery continues to progress in the right direction, albeit slowly. I am getting closer to walking by the day. Right now, I am still doing aquatic therapy and that is going well. I hope to be walking within the next month. [I think I have said that several times. Haha] I am working as hard as I can. At this point, that is about all that I can control.

Something that has been on my mind lately is history, more specifically, our own personal history. We often hear stories of great heroism or amazing people in various circumstances. I often hear about the miraculous and lasting impact so many people have on our world. I began to think about the impact I want to have on the world. I realized that all of these stories we see and hear are these people's personal histories and that each of us are writing our own each and every day. Provides for some self reflection, doesn't it? What do you want to be remembered for? What legacy do you want to leave? How do you want your personal history to be written? All of that, my friends, is entirely up to us.

This weekend provided yet another amazing General Conference. I love the opportunity we have to listen to the leaders of our church and the inspired messages they deliver. I was especially "wowed", as usual, by Elder Holland. His talk was amazing! He is such a deep thinker yet his messages are always so simple and clear. I am always so encouraged and motivated to share my testimony after listening to General Conference as it grows such a great deal.

Last weekend I also had an amazing opportunity to return to Edmonton to participate in the baptisms of the Thomas family. It is a family that I had worked with for several months back on my mission. I love their family so much and couldn't have been more excited to be a part of this step that their family took. As I stood in the font, I felt an unfathomable happiness. I wish I could explain the feelings of being there with this family but there are no words I know of to adequately describe such happiness and joy. It was such a beautiful baptismal service and the Spirit was so strong. Being a part of it was a highlight of my mission. I love them!

This is the Thomas family [except for Aiden and Darian] right before the baptism started. [Me, Keiran Thomas, Marshall Thomas, Jeff Thomas, Jennifer Thomas, Darren Caldwell]. I love that family so dearly.

This is my Dad and I with Elder G!

My Dad and I at the Wilson's out with the Bulls!

This is the Dragon in the movie theatre at West Edmonton Mall. It actually "breathes fire". Haha. It is intense!!

After my last entry I planned to update my blog more regularly. Ha. definitely dropped the ball on that one. Haha. Sorry!! Things with me are going well. Recovery continues to move in the right direction which is such a blessing! Although it is going slowly, I am thankful to be moving in the right direction. Hopefully that road leads to 100% full recovery. I am in the middle of the Aquatic Therapy phase of my recovery. It is long and painful . . . aka . . . it is going well!!! =D I am still not walking but am getting close. In the next week or so I will be able to move from point A to point B and then within the next month I hope to be capable of walking fully. Then I have to reteach myself how to walk again. Ha. I never really realized how sad that sounds until I reread it just now. Haha.

Outside of the recovery process I am on cloud nine!!! Tomorrow I have the amazing opportunity to go back up to Edmonton and to participate in the baptisms of the Thomas family!! I love them so dearly and am so excited to be a part of this next step that they are taking. I can't wait to be back up there!!! =D

Seeing as how I do leave tomorrow I'm gonna have to go pack! Haha. =D


Keep smiling!! =D

LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH.

I'm Back!

I officially have been the worst blog writer slash updater of all time. Ha. Sorry it has been so long since I have updated everyone. Things with my ankle are progressing. Although the recovery is moving very slowly, it is moving in the right direction. I have been doing the aquatic therapy for the past couple of weeks and it has been going well. I am increasing the weight I am able to bear on my repaired ankle. It is progressing and I hope to be walking in the next couple of weeks.

Last night was awesome! We had a bunch of people over to watch the BYU v. Oklahoma game and it didn't disappoint! That game was awesome! And . . . we came out on top! Our defense definitely showed up to play. Even when Bradford was in the game during the first half, their offense couldn't move the ball. Great job, Defense!!! And way to go Max Hall to show up big on that last drive. Those passes and decisions could not have been more precise or more perfect. That 4th and 4 play to Pita was amazing!! We can definitely make a splash this year and I am excited!

I would also like to thank Sister Bingham for writing that article about all of the student body presidents at Maria Carrillo! It was a great article!! Congrats to Jenna, Maddie, Josh, and Lauren. It is truly an honor to be mentioned with you guys!! Here is a link to the article . . .
http://www.ldschurchnews.com/articles/57836/California-high-school-elects-five-straight-LDS-presidents.html

Love you all!
LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH.

Why?

A quick update on my lovely, good ol' ankle! Ha. Things are progressing. I have been in the pool for aquatic therapy all this last week, which is great. It means we are moving in the right direction! I am still not walking and am not putting all too much weight on my ankle and foot but surely and steadily the weight tolerance is increasing. Most of the exercises I do in the pool have gone well. There has been some problems in the front of my foot when plantar flexed and when bearing weight, but that should not be any worry. We suspect that it is just my foot getting re-accustomed to bearing weight. So all is going well and I am optimistic!

Today I had the opportunity to teach the priests and was so excited to be able to do so. We talked about decision making and the implications and effects our decisions can bring. We looked at some examples in the scriptures in Christ, Nephi, and Abinadi, and also looked at some examples from today in Steven Biko, Lance Armstrong, and the New York firefighters who risked their life on September 11th. We discussed the aspects that went into making those decisions and the characteristics that factor into our decisions. It was an amazing discussion and very conducive to learning and to spiritual revelation and development. Something that we discussed that struck me was the powerful usage of the simple word, "why". Especially in decision making, the question "why" can provoke thought and help one identify the reasons for a decision and realize their intentions. When I make decisions that can have lasting impacts I often ask myself, "Why? Why am I making this decision?". It allows me to reflect on the decision and the appropriateness of it. Is it for the right reasons? Will it be beneficial to myself and those around me. Who will I be able to help?

Why do we do what we do? Why do we say what we say? Why? Such a simple word and phrase but with such profound implications and such potential for realization and thought. Ask why. By doing so, I have brought more significance and meaning to the decisions I have made.

One other thing that stuck out to me is something that impresses me about so many of my close friends: courage. Doing what is right is never easy and achieving goals aspiration is equally difficult. It requires courage to live in such a way. Be courageous! Our courage can be a deciding factor in the outcome of our decisions.

Love you all!

LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH.

Wahoo!!!

I got in the pool today for aquatic therapy!! Finally!!! Ha. My wounds have closed up and are just about fully healed so I was fortunate enough to be able to move forward with my physical therapy. We were able to put more weight on my ankle in the pool and hopefully it will speed up the process a little bit. Unfortunately, taht also means that my ankle is that much more sore tonight! Ha. It is dying and I am exhausted!! But I wouldn't have it any other way! =D

Short story of the day that made me smile:
As I was driving home from work one day, I stopped to watch a local Little League baseball game that was being played in a park near my home. As I sat down behind the bench on the first-base line, I asked one of the boys what the score was. "We're behind 14 to nothing," he answered with a smile. "Really," I said. "I have to say you don't look very discouraged." "Discouraged?" the boy asked with a puzzled look on his face. "Why should we be discouraged? We haven't been up to bat yet."

=D

LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH.

The physical therapy continues to progress, although slowly. I had another appointment this morning and we did some more of the same exercises. The wound has not healed up enough still so I have not been able to get into the pool for aquatic therapy. I have been able to add some more weight on it [though that still does not mean all that much weight]. The wound is beginning to look significantly better though and I should be in the pool soon, meaning that the progression will hopefully speed up! All I can do is continue to work hard and let my physical therapists do their thing! I trust them completely!

This short story is one that I have read over several times for the last bit and one that I love. I figured I'd share! =D

"Lesson in Heart"
A lesson in “heart” is my little 10 year old daughter, Sarah, who was born with a muscle missing in her foot and wears a brace all the time. She came home on beautiful spring day to tell me she had competed in “field day” – that’s where they have lots of races and other competitive events.
Because of her leg support, my mind raced as I tried to think of encouragement for my Sarah, things I could say to her about not letting this get her down – but before I could get a word out, she said,
“Daddy, I won two of the races!”
I couldn’t believe it! And then Sarah said,
“I had an advantage.”
Ah. I knew it. I thought she must have been given a head start…some kind of physical advantage. But again, before I could say anything, she said,

“Daddy, I didn’t get a head start…My advantage was I had to try harder!

So often our greatest obstacle are the "obstacles" we give to ourselves. The reality is though, no matter what obstacles we may face, we can give ourselves "an advantage" through our efforts. Sarah is a perfect example of that! I know the harder I try, the harder I work, the more successful I'll be!

LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH.

For the last week or so, I have been at the G'parents house in Sacramento. It was a nice little break but was also kind of frustrating since I couldn't really do much. I am still not mobile! Ahh! Ha. I had another physical therapy appointment this afternoon and we kept going slowly. My incision still has not healed up enough to start the aquatic therapy phase so we did some more crutch-aided exercises. Until I get into the pool the progression is going to be very slow, ans I will still be on crutches! =( But we are at least progressing, slow or not. That is definitely a blessing! We are moving in the right direction!! =D
Right now I am watching "Sandlot" with Matt Matt and Sissy and was just reminded of how it is one of the greatest movies of all time. Ha. Definitely a classic! =D

Update . . . of sorts. Ha. =D

Hey everyone! I have a quick, non-exciting update of my ankle progress. My incision has healed up pretty good and the beginning of the aquatic therapy phase seems to be just around the corner. [Knock on wood! Ha] I spoke today with another foot/ankle specialist that has been following my case and he too said it would be at least another 6 months before I have decent strength and would be able to be mobile as usual. So that kind of solidified the long road ahead of me! Ha. Just what I wanted to hear. Seriously though it will be a great opportunity to learn what there is in store for me.
The last little bit I have been thinking a lot about trials and our perception of the positions we so often find ourselves. Many of us, myself included, will periodically find ourselves wondering why it seems that everything always happens to us. Whether it is physical challenges or financial and social challenges; whether it is challenges with relationships with friends or friends period, at times it seems that we may always be the one getting the short end of the stick. One of the most often asked questions is why me? Why do I have to endure all of this. Why doesn't Johnny down the street ever have to go through anything. Everyone naturally thinks this in points of trial when comparisons arise. A short bit ago I caught myself comparing my situations to others. It gave me an opportunity to pause and reflect. I remembered a quote from President Boyd K. Packer: "Some are tested by poor health, some by a body that is deformed or homely. Others are tested by handsome and healthy bodies; some by the passion of youth; others by the erosions of old age. Some suffer disappointment in marriage, family problems; others live in poverty and obscurity. Some (perhaps this is the hardest test) find ease and luxury. All are part of the test, and there is more equality in this testing than sometimes we suspect”. We are all tried and tested according to our capabilities, situations, and character. The trial is not what separates us from others, it is our reaction. An idea that has been so lost and construed. When we face trials or difficult situations each and every one of us has a choice. We can choose to wallow or to rise. I have chosen to rise. We can choose to be the victim or learn from the experience. I choose to learn.
I also was able to reflect a lot on the humanitarian work I have done in the Republic of Georgia. Those kids have about as close to nothing as possible. They have one "outfit", consisting of mismatched clothing that is far older than they are. Those who do have shoes often squeeze their feet into shoes far too small. When they are fed, it is not what we would consider a meal. The first orphanage I went to had one "basketball hoop" as one of their few recreational opportunities. That basketball hoop was a lawn chair nailed to a tree with the seat removed to make the hoop. Temporally, they have nothing. Despite that, they are far happier than any other children I have ever known or seen, myself included. They have the perspective I seek. We are all tested and tried differently. That means we all have an opportunity to overcome our trials. Those orphans are such an example to me, fifteen years my younger, of how to approach situations that seem difficult. I challenge you all to do the same! Choose to rise! Choose to learn. Ultimately, choose to be happy!

Just some pictures from the orphanages to remind me of the orphans' examples.

One of the beautiful orphans. This was one of my favorite pictures.

Their old basketball hoop . . . [I was 15 in this pictures. ha]. . . Their new one!!!

Giorgi [on the right] is probably the best example of charity for me! I love these kids!

BE THANKFUL. EXPRESS LOVE.
LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH.

We are starting to move forward even more . . . Kinda! Ha. We still can't put much pressure on it until I can get into the pool [next week]. But today we raised the stakes. Jeff works my ankle a lot to retain the movement we have got thus far which kills but is good. The Jeff was like, "Let's take a walk". Ha. I just looked at him, "Are you serious?". He said "kinda" then I walked! . . . with my crutches! Ha. It was good. There was not very much weight on my ankle at all but I was "walking". It felt good as it was the first time in 2 months! Other than that, we just worked the ankle and got it ready to start next week in the pool for aquatic therapy. I can't wait for it to progress more so it does not hurt so darn bad! Haha. The price I have to pay for recovery, I guess. I hope everyone is doing well! Let me know if there is anything I can do for any of you!
LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH.

Inspiration

Through our lives, we all inevitably face obstacles and trials. How we react to those trials is a great mark of our character. Through such trials we are refined and developed. There is always something to learn and potential to grow. As I have grown and developed, not only a testimony of my Heavenly Father's perfect love and grace, but also character, I have found that knowing where I am going always aids me in safely maneuvering through the trials of life. I know where I want to be. I know the impact I want to have on others. I know the difference I want to make. I know that I can accomplish all of my temporal and spiritual goals as a part of the great and all-encompassing Plan of Salvation and Happiness. As I look to the future and to the goals I have made, the trials I face are but bumps along the world from which I am strengthened. I was listening to a song today, "On My Way" by Phil Collins, that helps me maintain my inspiration and motivation to continue to work as hard as I can to get there, and I wanted to share it.

On My Way
Tell everybody i'm on my way
New friends and new places to see
With blue skies ahead, yes i'm on my way
And theres no where else i'd rather be

Tell everybody i'm on my way
And i'm loving every step i take
With the sun beating down, yes i'm on my way
And i can't keep this smile off my face

Cause theres nothing like, seeing each other again
No matter what the distance between
And the stories we tell, will make you smile
Or really lifts my heart

So tell'em i'm on my way
New friends and new places to see
And to sleep under the stars and could ask for more
With the moon keeping watch over me

Not the snow nor the rain, can change my mind
The sun will come out, wait and see
And the feeling of the wind
In your face can lift your heart

Oh... theres no where i'd rather be
Cause i'm on my way now
Well and true
I'm my way there
I'm on my way now(x3)

Tell everybody i'm on my way
I just can't wait to be there
With blue skies ahead, yes I'm on my way
And nothing but good times to share

So tell everybody I'm on my way
And I just can't wait to be home
With the sun beating down yes I'm on my way
And nothing but good times to show

I'm on my way
Yes, I'm on my way

Also . . . A couple of pictures since I have been back . . .

Matt Matt, Sissy, and I at the airport.
"I love to see the temple . . ."Family reunion and fireworks. Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, Parents, Siblings, and Fireworks! Can't go wrong!Sparklers with Mom! Ha. I was trying to stay standing . . . Haha.

LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH.

PROGRESS!!!

We kinda have progress!! Ha. I had physical therapy again today and my favorite physical therapist, Jeff, decided to up the stakes. The incision still has not completely closed so we have not gone into the pool to start the real physical therapy but he said that we will soon. Today he worked my ankle a lot. It was way painful but it is starting to help some movement to get back into my ankle. It's just the price I have to pay. So we are starting to get some movement back into the ankle which is great. Something big happened too!! I stood up!! For the first time in 2 months!!! . . . Aided by a table. Ha. So I guess I wasn't completely standing on my own but it is moving in the right direction. Ha.
The other day, Matt Matt said something super funny. The Warriors just drafted Stephen Curry from Davidson. They were doing a special about him on TV that we were watching. They mentioned that he wrote a scripture from the bible on his shoes before every game. Matt perked up and was like, "Steph Curry is a Mormon?!" ha. I chuckled and told him that he wasn't and that many people read and liked scriptures. He looked like he understood and said "Oh. Gotcha . . . " There was a 5 second pause ". . . He's an investigator!!" Haha. it was funny!
Thanks again for all the support! You are all wonderful!

Hey! THough there isn't much to report, I just had my most recent physical therapy. Since the incision still hasn't closed, we still have not started the aquatic therapy [phase 1]. Instead my physical therapist and I have been working my ankle trying to get some movement back in it.
The other muscles in my leg that are important to recovery are non-responsive and won't engage right now so we have also been working on getting those back and strengthening them. Ha. Today we tried attaching some electro stimulation to it to get the muscles to at least engage but it didn't work. So we are still working on it. Ha.
Thus far these two posts have not been exciting at all! Ha. I am sorry. I promise I am working as hard as I can to progress so they get more exciting!! Haha.
LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH.

Hey all! So to quickly update everyone and anyone on what is going on . . . two months ago I came home from my mission to have surgery on my ankle. I was supposed to come home during December but stayed as long as I could before coming home for the surgery. They performed the surgery and, though my surgeon had to do more than expected, it went well. Ha. Initially, my surgeon had said that he expected recovery to be 4-6 months but couldn't put a definitive time-frame on it. For the last 4 weeks I have been going to physical therapy but they have not been able to do much because my ankle has not been responding the way we had hoped. My incision also opened back up and has kept me from starting the first stage [aquatic therapy] of my real physical therapy. So my physical therapist has just been working my ankle to try and regain movement. Right now, we cannot start until the wounds heal back up so we are kinda playing the waiting game. Due to the way my ankle has been reacting, my physical therapist has said that it will take at least 6 months and probably more. EEK! Not exactly what I wanted to hear. So we are waiting right now for all of it to heal, hoping that we can hit the ground running soon and get recovered.
So last night I was officially released because of the expected, yet entirely unknown, length of the recovery. It wasn't necessarily what I wanted to do and was sad, but President Bingham and I both agreed it was the right decision. I feel very much at peace with it and am ready to take on this next chapter. Through every experience in our life we have the opportunity to learn and grow. There is a great and eternal plan for all of us and each experience is part of that plan. That is my charge right now. That is my responsibility: to learn what I am to learn and to grow through this trial. There is so much room for me to improve in so many aspects and there is so much I have to learn, I am excited for the opportunity, as undesired as it is, to learn and grow in this.
Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I have truly felt their impact and their help. You are all in mine. I am here for each and every one of you, no matter the circumstances. Please do know that! Love you all!
LIVE.LOVE.LAUGH.